On November 8th Brianna's two month birthday I got a dragonfly tattoo with Brianna's name on my shoulder. I chose a dragonfly since I like the Waterbugs and Dragonflies story and it is the way I want to think of Brianna's passing.

I can't believe it has been two months. I miss her everyday and still don't understand why she had to go. At times the pain that I feel is unbearable. I was in the store today and they have Christmas decorations up already. Well I wasn't ready for how hard it is to see it all. I thought I would have my baby this Christmas. Merry Christmas sound ridiculous to me and makes me want to hide out in bed until New Years. The only thing that is going to get me through this holiday season is Matt. Thank God for a happy five year old who can't wait for Santa to come. He will be my life line.

Brianna- I love you sweet baby and miss you every day. I cherish the short time I got to spend with you. Please don't ever forget your mommy. I hold you every night in my dreams.